Quite clearly, my friend felt the same. She explained her level of frustration was at an all time high and how self-esteem at an all time low. She most definitely felt up for sex and apparently had made it quite clear that her needs were great and almost ever-present. However, her man just wasn’t responding and had physically shut down in that respect.

She explained that she had read up on the matter and quite often, sex drives are adversely affected by little kids, or stress at work, or extra-marital affairs. She had looked at their relationship, analysing it for any indicators of problems and had concluded that everything else in their relationship was great. Their two kids were now at an age where they were sleeping through, so bedtimes weren’t an issue and there was no reason for them to be having a negative effect on their sex lives. Furthermore, his job was going really well, he’d recently been promoted and job security was at an all time high. He was still very loving and his family quite evidently meant the world to him. Every moment of his spare time was spent with them – they were his entire world. It was just (just!) the sex. The thing they both used to love and invest a significant amount of time in, the thing that they both felt they excelled in and was one of their favourite past times.  What on earth had prompted the change?

There was one positive, she explained. She said that because she had been left to her own devices to satisfy her still very present needs, she had really got to know herself and regularly spent indulgent moments in the bath or on her own in her bedroom exploring herself and learning her most intimate pleasures. She had secretly purchased some fabulous sex toys and had become a bit of a self-professed expert in vibrators, particularly favouring bullets as she could take these anywhere! She said she even takes them running as physical exercise makes her even hornier. She said the less she had it, the more she thought about it, so it was becoming a constant frustration for her and one which she couldn’t switch off.

Obviously our poor friend’s situation prompted all sorts of discussions and revelations within the group. A surprisingly high number of us seem to go weeks without having sex and whilst a number of us found this to be pretty shocking and a poor state of affairs (how can you not want to have sex?!), it appeared we were more the exception rather than the rule. A few days quickly can become a few weeks or even months, then before you know it, sex doesn’t even cross your mind (apparently!). More often than not, it’s women whose sex drives are significantly less, leaving men to alleviate frustrations using porn or other equally freely accessible alternatives.

Anyway, we resolved to try and help our lovely sex-deprived friend get her man back in the saddle again and here’s what we suggested.

1) Prepare a romantic meal, with all the works to get him focused on her. Dress up, light candles, get the music on and get rid of the kids for the night. Focus entirely on each other and let him know that it’s a date night, so he is to dress up too.

2) Get out the sexy lingerie. Maybe her messages that she was ready and eager just weren’t coming across. The objective here is for him to be under no illusion that sex is going to happen and it’s gonna be good!

3) Get out the toys. Once fired up (and the meal, followed by some lusty undies should definitely have done the job of getting the juices flowing) why not incorporate her array of toys to remind him just what fun sex is? What man would be able to resist their partner gently masturbating in front of them?

4) Keep up the momentum. Just as a few days dry spell can quickly become a few weeks then months, so it is true that a few days of regular sex will encourage the libido to awaken and to demand sex on a regular basis.

So, we all have our fingers crossed for her and are wishing her and her sex life a complete revival. Go girl!

My partner and I have spent many a happy evening hunting down my G-spot, and whilst the search has always been fun, sadly, despite many years of trying, we have failed entirely in its location. I had heard great things about the We-Vibe II being an excellent G-spot and …

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My husband and I were enjoying a quiet peruse of The Boudoir site, looking for a new Vibrator to enjoy when we came across the Fun Factory Delight. Being a complete sucker for anything beautiful, I was immedi…

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Following on from our previous topic the 4 stages of Female arousal and looking at the arousal stage itself, we move on to the next level of pleasure, the plateau. The term seems to suggest a point at which no progress in p…

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Most women want a classic vibrator that falls into two categories, those for clitoral stimulation and a vibe for internal penetration. The former offers so many fabulous yet low cost options there is barely time to relay. Bullet vibrators are a fabulous and mostly simple way of indulging in self pleasure. Choose a branded bullet such as Rocks Off RO80mm or Screaming O’s bullet (both under £10) or opt for a generic version which should offer as much satisfaction for even less cost. Our favourite is the RO80mm as it is powerful, just the right width and has a simple on/off soft touch control at the end. One thing to consider is the size and shape with the RO80mm having a tapered tip and longer body, whilst the Screaming O bullet has a shorter fatter body with less vibrator to grip. Either way the bullet vibe encapsulates the simplicity and functionality of a classic vibe.

What has become of the torpedo’s? As mentioned before the plastic white ‘ladyfinger’ vibe is still doing the rounds but there are so many great (and inexpensive) sex toys available it pays to shop a little further. Vibe Therapy is a fabulous Designer Sex Toy  range with luxury classic Vibrators that feature both quality material and powerful, super quiet motors. Take a look at the Frenzy and Meridian Vibes at Vibe Therapy for the best choices. Velvet touch material has added a super soft dimension to the torpedo shaped vibrator and the twist cap base makes switching on and ramping up the toe curling vibrations a synch.

In our previous topic 4 stages of female arousal we explained the four different states of arousal a female travels through on her way to orgasm and recovery. There are many ways in which each stage can be improved in terms of physical (and psychological) enjoyment in which …

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